Sunday, February 9, 2003 - I messed around with the home page, off and on, for a week now, and of course, it’s pretty much back to the way it was. The Fool and his Money countdown clock is back in The Fool and his Money page where it belongs. On a related subject, this daily mug and accompanying rivulet of consciousness is a feature I call “Wake-up Call” — it’s nearly 2/14 already and it’ll be 7/4 before I know it and then 10/31. As one film teacher said to the other “Never try to teach a pig to sing. It wastes your time and annoys the pig.” — How dare you! And the new Jumble Jitters #7 is hardly flattering to its quotee. Go see!

Monday, February 10, 2003 - Computers are organic, and over time, will heal all problems, bugs, and glitches. Don’t they? My upgrade to Windows XP only took a scant six days and $2,000 in software upgrades. Much to my distraction, however, the Adobe Acrobat upgrade and the HP scanner upgrade refused to cooperate. Weeks passed. As I stuck pins into my Abode voodoo doll and dreamt of smashing my HP scanner with a ball-peen hammer, I decided, one last time, to try to install the two delinquent upgrades. This time, both worked. Proof positive that computers are organic. Or that Windows Update finally does. Segue. Jumble Jitters #7 awaits.

Tuesday, February 11, 2003 - Photoshop calls it Mezzotint. I call it “Ground Zero.” It also brings to mind Ken Russell’s “Altered States.” You know, that scene in the sensory deprivation tank where William Hurt is strung out on mystic Mexican mushrooms and his super-ego is blasting his physical atoms asunder as he journeys back to the beginning of time, and then, his lover, Blair Brown, she reaches into the cosmic swamp and the power of her love beckons him back to human form. No? I see. “Some people talk in their sleep. Others talk while other people sleep.” Furthermore, “Laugh and the world laughs with you. Snore and you sleep alone.” Wednesday, February 12, 2003 - Don’t be fooled by appearances. What may appear deep and contemplative might be a cobra, having chosen its victim, coiled and ready to strike. Or, the morning calm of a field mouse unaware of the hawk circling overhead. Tom Lehrer said “Life is like a sewer. What you get out of it depends on what you put into it.” The interview section has been updated with photos, making the words far easier to skip. Thanks to Alfred (who can!), the Macintosh CD-ROM portions of Merlin’s Appendix and Labrador of Crete are now playable. The catch is that I need to do a complete disc transfer per game. Thursday, February 13, 2003 - The strength of my reading glasses is 1.75 and that’s not changed for time out of mind. I grilled the optometrist. “Listen,” said I, “Here’s an opportunity to pickpocket some big bucks off of me. My question is this. Are these dirt-cheap drugstore off-the-rack glasses causing any long-term harm to my vision? Or would you rather have me buy a pair of your overrated extortionate glasses instead?” Without hesitation, he replied, “Oh no, the generic glasses are fine for you.” I cried foul! Twisted reverse psychology at its most obscene! “The eyes are not responsible when the mind does the seeing.” Ask ousted Harry Greene. Friday, February 14, 2003 - To express my feelings on this happy day, I turn to poet Tom Lehrer to sing our song — “I hold your hand in mine, dear. I press it to my lips. I take a healthy bite from your dainty fingertips. My joy would be complete, dear, if you were only here. But still I keep your hand as a precious souvenir. The night you died I cut it off, I really don’t know why, but now each time I kiss it, I get blood stains on my tie. I’m sorry now I killed you, for our love was something fine. Until they come to get me, I shall hold your hand in mine.” Plagiarism is the sincerest form of flattery. Darwin’s theory. “Eat or be eaten!” A sloppy wet one. Saturday, February 15, 2003 - Any resemblance to Alex of “Clockwork Orange” is wishful thinking on my part. The three E’s are silent no longer. Esoteric. Eclectic. Eccentric. Intended for or understood by only a particular group. “His esoteric style of writing seduced few to join his cult.” Selecting or employing individual elements from a variety of sources, systems, or styles. “His eclectic taste in cookware represented years of rummaging through yard sales too late in the day.” Departing from a recognized, conventional, or established norm or pattern. “His eccentric behavior prompted the neighbors to breed alligators in their moat.”