Sunday, March 2, 2003 - I was minding my own business, well, walking in a daze, absorbed, engrossed, and obsessed, not looking where I was going — and then there was this cement truck. I believe this snapshot captures it best, your Honor. Ambrose Bierce wrote in The Devil’s Dictionary “Eccentricity, a method of distinction so cheap that fools employ it to accentuate their incapacity.” Elaine Boosler, on the other hand, said “You never see a man walking down the street with a woman who has a little pot belly and a bald spot.” Most people are more comfortable with old problems than they are with new solutions. I am with neither.
Monday, March 3, 2003 - Uh oh. Now he’s discovered he can take snapshots in the mirror. Perhaps cleaning the mirror might be in order. Ever wonder where eMail spam humor originates? Me, too, though I confess, like SNL, there’s always one or two good bits. Best Pragmatic, “Never test the depth of the water with both feet.” Best Philosophical, “If you lend someone $100 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.” Best Mind’s Eye, “The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket.” Best Career counseling, “Don’t be irreplaceable. If you can’t be replaced, you can’t be promoted.” Jumble Jitters #9!

Tuesday, March 4, 2003 - More fun with mirrors. A fine time to be out of Windex... I mean window cleaner. I’d considered using Vaseline on the camera lens... er, petroleum jelly. Then I’d have to use Kleenex to... um, facial tissues. Wait. Xerox or photocopy? Jell-O or gelatin dessert? Spandex or stretch fabric? Scotch tape or Cellophane tape or plastic tape? Thermos? Band-Aid? Polaroid? Fiberglass? Q-Tips? Velcro? Wite-Out? Post-its? I googled... I searched the Internet for more words on this topic, but no one seems to have done an exhaustive study of this or at least enough to pad out this rivulet. Spankin’ new Jumble Jitters #9!
Wednesday, March 5, 2003 - Times were when snapshots like this were caused by leaving the Kodak Instamatic baking in the sun in the back window of the Karman Ghia all Fourth of July weekend. Ralph Waldo Emerson said “Nothing great was ever achieved without enthusiasm.” Aristotle said “There was never a genius without a tincture of madness.” And Douglas Adams said “You live and learn. At any rate, you live.” If the eponym ‘silhouette’ is derived from Louis the XV’s miserly finance minister, Etienne de Silhouette, could ‘Rolodex’ be a proprietary eponym for rotary card file, presuming the manufacturer’s name was originally Rolodex? JJ#9.
Thursday, March 6, 2003 - Here’s a résumé to die for: “Alfred Neustadter invented the Rolodex, a rotating index/file card holder, which was first marketed in 1958. Neustadler also invented Autodex, a phone directory book that automatically opened to the right letter, Swivodex, an inkwell that did not spill, Punchodex, a paper hole puncher, and Clipodex, a stenographer’s aid that attached to the knee,” the ‘dex’ having been sliced from ‘dexterity’, scholars at Inventors concur. (A knee jerk to Jepodex for bringing this to my inattention.) And as many self-employed curse the IRS annually, I wonder would taxation without representation be cheaper?

Friday, March 7, 2003 - Paul Valery begins “Politics is the art of preventing people from taking part in affairs which properly concern them.” Ernest Benn adds “Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it whether it exists or not, diagnosing it incorrectly, and applying the wrong remedy.” Mao Tse-Tung states “Politics is war without bloodshed while war is politics with bloodshed.” Benjamin Franklin concludes “They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety.” After yesterday’s press conference, I slammed my face into the shower door repeatedly so that, when I stopped, it would feel so good.
Saturday, March 8, 2003 - I’m thinking the Ring Wraith who stabbed Frodo on Weathertop, less the crown and hair. You be the judge. Am I a Luddite for shrieking like Jamie Lee Curtis in Halloween when I hear that my website stretches 18 inches wide on the Macintosh Safari browser? Actually my first words were “the what browser?” Sanctuary mulch to Macintosh Guru Steve Riggins for solving the glitch for this hectic Fool and for cooking cabbage rolls at the same time. The thing I love (hate) about upgrading is that I spend 6 hours to get it to do exactly what it did 6 hours ago. Say, I wonder how Michael derived that measurement of 18 inches?