Sunday, April 6, 2003 - “And somebody spoke and I went into a dream...”

“A Day in the Life” — Lyrics by John Lennon and Paul McCartney.
Monday, April 7, 2003 - Fran Lebowitz decided “Life is something that happens when you can’t get to sleep.” Anthony Burgess observed “Laugh and the world laughs with you, snore and you sleep alone.” Steven Wright opined “When I woke up this morning my girlfriend asked me, ‘Did you sleep good?’ I said ‘No, I made a few mistakes.’ In the bargain DVD bin, I bought a copy of the television pilot for “The Dead Zone,” a Stephen King novel adaptation where this guy wakes up from a coma after six years and can foresee the future. I foresee that I will wait until the last minute to file my taxes, that I will turn 50 this year, and that I’ll be there at the first 12:01 AM show for “The Return of the King.”
Tuesday, April 8, 2003 - A publisher called to ask if I’d consider writing a book on “Game Design” to which I replied, “Well, I don’t know much about game design, but I could write a book on how I design CLiFF JoHNSoN games.” The phone clicked and we were cut off apparently. René Descartes remarked “The reading of all good books is indeed like a conversation with the noblest men and women of past centuries. It is a carefully studied conversation, however, in which they reveal to us none but the best of their thoughts.” There’s 17th century optimism for you. Cyril Connolly advises “Always be nice to those younger than you, because they are the ones who will be writing about you.” Again, optimism.
Wednesday, April 9, 2003 - Ladies and gentleman, an encore, my pumpkin head impersonation of Alex your humble narrator.  Thank you very much. What I am finishing today? Hmmm. H. L. Mencken declared “Unquestionably, there is progress. The average American now pays out twice as much in taxes as he formerly got in wages.” Arthur Godfrey boasted “I’m proud to be paying taxes in the United States. The only thing is I could be just as proud for half the money.” Will Rogers exclaimed “I see a good deal of talk from Washington about lowering taxes. I hope they do get ‘em lowered enough so people can afford to pay ‘em.” Self-unemployment tax anyone?

Thursday, April 10, 2003 - Johnny Storm, flame blown out? Gold Bug enthusiast Andrew eMails “Another classic tale of puzzle-solving and treasure-hunting is The Treasure of Abbot Thomas by M.R. James. Like Poe, James wrote tales of the supernatural; this story is a good example of his work.” The Fool researched the matter and found that this is but one of many short stories in his first book Ghost-Stories of an Antiquary published in 1904. For fellow Famous Monsters of Filmland fanatics, it is of further note that his story “Casting the Runes” (1911) was the inspiration for Jacques Tourneur’s 1958 film Curse of the Demon.
Friday, April 11, 2003 - Tom asked “Did Descartes shuffle off his mortal coil with the thought, “Therefore I’m not?” Evan Davis interrupted with “Nice guys finish last, but we get to sleep in.” Joan Klempner chimed in with “To achieve the impossible dream, try going to sleep.” Mark Twain intruded with “I have never taken any exercise except sleeping and resting.” Woody Allen barged in with “The lion and the calf shall lie down together but the calf won’t get much sleep.” And Homer muscled in with “There is a time for many words, and there is also a time for sleep.” If Death’s brother is Sleep, does he deserve a Tarot card, a portent of dry mouth?
Saturday, April 12, 2003 - Name that horror flick. “It Came from Photoshop,” “Phantom of the Photoshop,” or “Planet of the Photoshop”? In the “I Can’t Believe It Sucked This Bad” Department, there’s Jack Nicholson with Adam Sandler in “Anger Management,” a film which Roger Ebert says “might have been one of Adam Sandler’s best [and] becomes one of Jack Nicholson’s worst.” I vote for the magnificently charming, universally-shunned Paul Thomas Anderson film of last year Punch-Drunk Love with Sandler and Emily Watson in which Sandler actually comes off as a real actor. Jim Carrey ought to give P.T. Anderson a call. Or, at least, have the common sense God gave geese to do a sequel to The Mask.