Sunday, April 20, 2003
- Which one is Apollo, God of the
Sun? Take your time now. Don’t rush.
Okay? The answer is neither. On a related
topic, Jane Wagner proclaims “Delusions
of grandeur make me feel a lot better about
myself.” Dame Rose Macaulay announces
“It is a common delusion that you
make things better by talking about them.”
And Maurice Chapelain declares “The
final delusion is the belief that one has
lost all delusions.” My delusion was
to create an alphabet
decoder that combined the human intuition
of pencil-and-paper deciphering with the
exactness of computer. Jean Houston comments
“We all have the extraordinary coded
within us, waiting to be released.”
(Lame but best ‘code’ quote
I could find.)
Monday, April 21, 2003 - Anubis is the jackal-headed
Egyptian god who conducted the dead to judgement.
No, no, the one on the left. And have no
pretense of color toward plum, violet, mauve,
lavender, lilac, fuchsia, puce, hyacinthine,
heliotrope, or mulberry — purple is
as purple does. Rudyard Kipling said it
best. “He wrapped himself in quotations
as a beggar would enfold himself in the
purple of Emperors.” The New England
Pilgrim in me is easily shocked when the
FOX Network announces they’re putting
“the F.U. back in FUN.” I never
knew it was missing! Blore’s Razor
states “Given a choice between two
theories, take the one which is funnier.”
Minds are like parachutes. They only function
when open.
Tuesday, April 22, 2003 - My torrid love affair with
the absurd began with innumerable listenings
and inevitable memorizations of The
Firesign Theater in high school and
likewise with Monty
Python’s Flying Circus in college.
The Firesign Theater is an acquired taste,
I admit, rather like attempting, all for
the first time and all at once, to gobble
Bleu cheese, to gulp absinthe liquor, and
to inhale maduro cigars. Wait. I’m
thinking of Quentin Tarantino films. Never
mind. Oscar Wilde remarks “It is absurd
to divide people into good and bad. People
are either charming or tedious.” Allan
Goldfein reminds “Only those who are
exceptionally rational can afford to be
absurd.” And here’s a puzzle
inspired by Mischievous Straggler.
Wednesday, April 23, 2003 - Here is an advance photo
from the upcoming movie The Metal Men and
that’s me starring as Lead. There
was much controversy about casting Tom Cruise
as Lestat in Interview
with a Vampire (the movie poster peeking
from behind the gargoyle). At the time,
Anne Rice made a big stink about Cruise
until someone explained to her that she
was receiving points from the film. Then
she thought he was terrific. I feel it was
Tom Cruise’s best turn ever as a character
actor versus, say, an empty-headed action
hero. He worked hard on this film and the
scene with him, Brad Pitt as Louis, and
the harlots in New Orleans is bloody creepy.
With Neil
Jordan directing, I found the film riveting.
Thursday, April 24, 2003 - Bats in the belfry? Crazy
as a loon? Mad as a March hare? A screw
loose? One sick puppy? Hog wild? Off my
rocker? Nutty as a fruitcake? Not right
in the head? Around the bend? Lost my marbles?
Gone bananas? William Dement realizes “Dreaming
permits each and every one of us to be quietly
and safely insane every night of our lives.”
Heinrich Heine observes “Ordinarily
he was insane, but he had lucid moments
when he was merely stupid.” Waylon
Jennings admits “I’ve always been crazy,
but it’s kept me from going insane.”
And Nora Ephron remarks “Insane people
are always sure that they are fine. It is
only the sane people who are willing to
admit that they are crazy.”
Friday, April 25, 2003 - “Imagination was given
man to compensate for what he is not, and
a sense of humor to console him for what
he is.” Author unknown, the
credit says. Why not anonymous or
the classic anon? Does the credit,
author unknown, imply that someone
out there once knew who the author was and
just forgot it? Or further, do authors make
a conscious choice to quote themselves and
sign it anonymous? I never thought
of it. Only the author can sign it anonymous,
denoting that the quoter reserves the right
to remain unacknowledged. Oops, I peeked
at the American Heritage Dictionary and
their definition for anonymous is
“having an unknown or unacknowledged
name.” I hate being at odds
with the facts.
Saturday, April
26, 2003 - Abraham Maslow suggested
“If the only tool you have is a
hammer, you tend to see every problem
as a nail.” What if the only tool
you have is a screwdriver? >rim shot<
The Sun System & Network Adminstration
manual explains “It is important
to realize that any lock can be picked
with a big enough hammer.” Walter
Savage Landor confirms “People, like
nails, lose their effectiveness when they
lose direction and begin to bend.”
G. Weilacher offers “One only needs
two tools in life: WD-40 to make things
go, and duct tape to make them stop.”
Have we become the tools of our tools?
Or are we fools with tools and rules?
