Sunday, June 8, 2003 - In the days before TV weathermen, one had to make do with popular proverbs. Red Sky at night, sailor’s delight. Red sky in the morning, sailor take warning. Mare’s tails and mackerel scales make tall ships take in their sails. Rainbow in the morning gives you fair warning. Halo around the sun or moon, rain or snow soon. On the other hand, science tells us that the chirping of a cricket has been shown to provide a close indication of air temperature. By counting the number of cricket chirps in a 14-second period and adding 40, the total will equal the air temperature to within one degree 75% of the time. This won’t get you a job at your local TV station, but you’ll be the life of the party.

Monday, June 9, 2003 - Bird rib — Cigar? Too tragic! — Egad! No bondage! — The word palindrome is derived from the Greek palíndromos, meaning running back again. A palindrome is a word or phrase whose letters read the same in both directions. See if you agree that Neil and Fred found the longest palindrome.
   Was it a bar or a bat I saw?
   No, Sir. Panic is a basic in a prison.
   Are we not drawn onward, we few, drawn onward to new era?
   Doc, note I dissent: a fast never prevents a fatness. I diet on cod.
   You can cage a swallow, can’t you? But you can’t swallow a cage can you?
Tuesday, June 10, 2003 - Ways DVD’s suck. (1) You cannot skip past the 30 seconds of federal and international copyright warnings. Note today’s date. How soon before they sneak a commercial into that “no skip” territory? (2) The “interactive” menus contain motion picture and sound clips that often reveal key plot points of the movie. For the first-time viewer of the film, this is infuriating. And for the collector sitting down to watch his favorite movie once a year (me), why can’t I just lean back and let the film unfold? Do I really need to see John Hurt writhing on the table in Aliens right before I watch the film? (3) You need a degree in engineering to defeat the nuclear polymers (plastic tape) that seal the DVD box!

Wednesday, June 11, 2003 - Guilty pleasures. MTV started its summer episodes of The Osbournes last night. Who can resist Ozzy at the dentist and his one-word pleas for “more” nitrous oxide? Then he is so stoned from the nitrous he tries repeatedly to drink a tiny cup of water by pressing it to his forehead — three times! Daughter Kelly makes fun of Christina Aguilera singing Jingle Bells. Son Jack ends up meeting Christina at a club and dances with her. Sibling war breaks out because Jack won’t hate Christina, too. Mom Sharon literally throws herself between the sparring siblings. And there’s a happy ending with Jack’s 17th birthday at The Medieval Times. Anonymous agrees “Good taste is the enemy of creativity.”
Thursday, June 12, 2003 - Apparently, a new company is broadcasting funerals on the Internet, giving friends and relatives who can’t make the service a chance to pay their respects. “Those who can’t get to the funeral also will be able to sign the electronic guest book and e-mail condolences to the family,” said Ross Johnson, promotional director for Chapelview Online, based in Rapid City. The company captures funerals with a digital camera and broadcasts them live for seven funeral homes in South Dakota. Author Mark Twain admits “I didn’t attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying that I approved of it.” Baseball star Yogi Berra reminds us “Go to other people’s funerals or they won’t come to yours.”

Friday, June 13, 2003 - I should’ve known what day it was after I opened my umbrella indoors and smashed a mirror; after I walked under a ladder and a black cat darted across my path; after I threw away a chain letter and dropped my fork; and my bread didn’t rise. Paraskevidekatriaphobics are people afflicted with a morbid, irrational fear of Friday the 13th. To me, it’s an endless series of bad horror movies with a guy in a hockey mask who’s fighting Freddy Krueger this August 15th. That’s like pitting Conan the Barbarian against Godzilla! Note that Jack the Ripper, Charles Manson, Jeffrey Dahmer, Theodore Bundy and Albert De Salvo all have 13 letters in their names. A coven hosts 13 witches. The Last Supper, a table for 13.
Saturday, June 14, 2003 - The Tarot cards below from The Fool and his Money now unfold in the order of the characters the Fool encountered in The Fool's Errand, and if you click each card, you can follow the story from the first game for the next, um, 78 days. In 1981, I purchased the Rider-Waite Tarot deck from U.S. Games and it became my inspiration for the fanciful tale of the Fool. How fortunate I was to select that particular deck, for, historically, it was the first Tarot deck in which all 78 cards were illustrated, not just the 22 Major Arcana cards. Conceived by Arthur Edward Waite and illustrated by Pamela Colman Smith, one might wonder why it is not called the Waite-Smith Tarot deck. Ah, Rider was the publisher!