Sunday, August 3, 2003 - Lacunar amnesia is the inability to remember a specific event, for me, preparing a new daily mug shot and cheap shot. Transient global amnesia is spontaneous memory loss that can last from minutes to several hours, depending upon the length of the given lecture, presentation, or staff meeting. Hallmark amnesia is the inability to remember birthdays and holidays, resulting in guilt, anxiety, and belated greeting cards. Gutenberg amnesia is the inability to remember that you already read the book you’re halfway through reading. Moniker amnesia is the inability to remember the names of acquaintances, colleagues, and your date. Remote amnesia is the inability to remember where you last placed it.
Monday, August 4, 2003 - “Melts in your mouth not in your hand.” M&M’s Milk Chocolate Candies first appeared in 1940 as a ploy to cover chocolates with a sugar shell so they wouldn’t melt during the summer heat, and thereby, could be sold throughout the entire year. Plain M&M’s contain 30% brown; 20% each of red, yellow; 10% each of orange, blue, green. Peanut M&M’s contain 20% each of brown, red, yellow, blue; 10% each of orange, green. Almond M&M’s contain 20% each of brown, yellow, red, blue, green and no orange at all! Who decides these things? Based on what? Upon investigation, I uncovered no clue, however, I did find you can order any combination of 21 colors to match your High School colors.

Tuesday, August 5, 2003 - In China, fortune cookies are called American Fortune Cookies, for there’s no dessert in Chinese culture, hence no after-dinner crispy cookie containing glossy paper. My concern is this. When did fortune cookies stop telling fortunes and become platitude cookies? “The best mirror is an old friend.” What sort of fortune is that? “Your principles mean more to you than money or success.” And this predicts what precisely? “Happiness is an attitude.” Uh huh. “Give time and thought to all that you do.” Healer, heal thyself! “It is not the person who has too little, but the person who always craves more, that is poor.” I blame the Hong Kong Noodle Company, Mothra, Rodan, & King Ghidrah in that order.

Wednesday,August 6, 2003 - An Ictinus and Callicrates with Phidias production: “The Parthenon enjoys the reputation of being the most perfect Doric temple ever built.” On the face of it, the Parthenon appears to be constructed at perfect right angles. This is not the case. It was constructed to appear as if it were constructed at perfect right angles. In fact, the Greeks built the columns to lean inward and bulge at the center. The base of the temple is higher in the middle than along the edges as well. The World’s First Optical Illusion? Grant Frazier philosophizes “Life is full of obstacle illusions.” Woody Allen suspects “What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists? In that case, I definitely overpaid for my carpet.”
Thursday, August 7, 2003 - Sharon Osbourne’s advice to son Jack vacationing in their home in England: “Don’t shoot the guns and don’t drive the motorbikes drunk.” George Gobel claims “I have never been drunk, but often I’ve been overserved.” George Bernard Shaw interrupts. “The fact that a believer is happier than a skeptic is no more to the point than the fact than a drunken man is happier than a sober one.” Ernest Hemingway advises “Always do sober what you said you’d do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.” Winston Churchill snaps “Yes Madame, I am drunk but you are ugly and tomorrow I’ll be sober.”

Friday, August 8, 2003 - The frozen head of Walt Disney? According to Cecil Adams of The Straight Dope, “Walt Disney was cremated on December 17, 1966, two days after his death. There were rumors that not only was Walt on ice, but that the body was stashed below the Pirates of the Caribbean at Disneyland. Disney was known to have been preoccupied with death, his funeral services were held in secret, and the cause of his demise was never formally announced. Forest Lawn would not disclose the location of the remains, but after a search, the grave site can be found in the cemetery’s Court of Freedom section. There is nothing remarkable about it. Conclusion: Walt was fried, not frozen.”

Saturday, August 9, 2003 - I still have my old Mac 512K, wryly marketed in 1985 as the ‘fat’ Mac, and I’m assured that it’s one of the ones that has the signatures of the original Macintosh design team molded into the inside of the plastic case. The question is moot, however, since I can see no way, short of explosives, to open up the thing and see for myself. I recall once seeing a Mac technician use this gizmo to pop the thing open, something akin to that device that pops open those plastic chastity belts that keep DVD’s from being shoplifted, but upon searching my garage, I can find no such device. Nevertheless I continue to keep my first Mac as an objet d’art, a Hellraiser puzzle box, beckoning to be opened.