Sunday, August
17, 2003 - During a party, Jerry
Stromyer, 24, of Kincaid, West Virginia
popped a blasting cap into his mouth as
a prank and bit down, triggering an explosion
that blew off his lips, teeth, and tongue.
Corporal M.D. Payne explains “Another
man had the blasting cap in an aquarium
hooked to a battery and was trying to
explode it. It wouldn’t go off and
this guy said ‘I’ll show you
how to set it off.’ He put it into
his mouth, bit down and it blew all his
teeth out and his lips and tongue off.”
Stromyer was listed in guarded condition
Wednesday with extensive facial injuries,
according to a spokesperson from Charleston
Area Medical Division. “I
just can’t imagine anyone doing
something like that,” remarked Charles
Darwin.
Monday, August
18, 2003 - Jeffery F. Chamberlain
reckons “In a country as big as
the United States, you can find fifty
examples of anything.” Marilyn Monroe
reveals “Hollywood is a place where
they’ll pay you a thousand dollars
for a kiss and fifty cents for your soul.”
Anatole France maintains “If fifty
million people say a foolish thing, it
is still a foolish thing.” Carl
Sagan points out “It is of interest
to note that while some dolphins are reported
to have learned up to fifty English words
used in correct context, no human being
has been reported to have learned dolphinese.”
And Elbert Hubbard concludes “One
machine can do the work of fifty ordinary
men. No machine can do the work of one
extraordinary man.”
Tuesday, August 19, 2003 - Amid the usual morning spam
was this, typos intact: IT IS MY DESIRE
TO WRITE FROM MY HEART HOPING THAT YOU WILL
NOT BETRAY US. MY FATHER DIVERTED SOME HUGE
SOME OF MONEY WHICH HE DEPOSITED WITH ONE
GOOD BANK CALLED BICICI WHEN HE WAS ALIFE,
IN FACT IN A BRIFE I INTRODUTION. ALL THE
INFORMATION WILL BE GIVEN TO YOU WHEN I
HEAR FROM YOU. THIS MONEY TOTALING US$ 12,000,000.00
(TWELVE MILLION UNITED STATES DOLLAR ) NOW
WE ARE SEEKING FOR A TRUSTED PERSON WHO
WILL RECEIVE THIS MONEY INTO HIS/HER ACCOUNT
FOR ONWARD INVESTMENT etc. etc. etc. Can
you believe this? All I can say is —
to hell with puzzles! I’ve hit the
jackpot!
Wednesday, August
20, 2003 - I’d always suspected
in the Haunted Mansion at Disneyland that
one of the singing gravestone heads in
the cemetery was Uncle Walt himself, but
it turns out that the Walt look-alike
is none other than Thurl Ravenscroft,
the voice of Tony the Tiger, the mascot
for Kellogg’s Sugar Frosted Flakes
since 1951. Tony was originally one of
four animated critters created to sell
the cereal, but he quickly edged out Katy
the Kangaroo, Newt the Gnu and Elmo the
Elephant to become the sole star of the
cereal maker’s ad efforts. Kellogg
was the first company to print nutrition
messages, recipes and product information
on its packages as well as voluntarily
listing the amount of sugar on product
labels.
Thursday, August
21, 2003 - An English riddle goes
“As I went over London Bridge, I
met my sister Jenny. I broke her neck
and drank her blood and left her standing
empty.” Sir Edmund Gosse poses this
riddle. “My love, when I gaze on
thy beautiful face, careering along, yet
always in place, the thought has often
come into my mind if I ever shall see
thy glorious behind.” And a third
tells “As a whole, I am both safe
and secure. Behead me, and I become a
place of meeting. Behead me again, and
I am the partner of ready. Restore me,
and I become the domain of beasts. What
am I?” The first must be English
slang, for its answer is “gin,”
the second is the “moon” whose
orbit can be thus described, and the third
is “stable.”
Friday, August 22, 2003 - Beware the eyes that paralyze.
I just now viewed an amazing piece of performance
art called Bunraku
Ping Pong. DB found this for me. No.
Not that DB. The one with the golden cords.
The same person who lead me to this link
about clocks
run by ‘Pappy’ who has an exhaustive
photo collection of all the Telechron clocks
made by General Electric. These are the
kind of curiosity sites that do the Internet
proud. He also rails against people selling
counterfeit clocks on eBay and is happy
to show you several thousand examples of
such. You have to love a guy who admits
“I got into Telechrons for no explicable
reason. My previous manias had been cartoons,
girls and doo wop music.”
Saturday, August 23, 2003 - The Darwin
Awards honor those who improve our gene
pool by removing themselves from it. These
men and women gave their all in an effort
to improve the human species. Of necessity,
the honor is bestowed posthumously. The
researchers at D.A. claim to verify each
tall tale before its consideration and induction.
Take James Burns, 34, of Alamo, Michigan,
who was killed as he was trying to repair
what police described as a “farm-type
truck.” Burns got a friend to drive
the truck on a highway while Burns hung
underneath so that he could ascertain the
source of a troubling noise. Burns’ clothes
caught on something, however, and the other
man found Burns “wrapped in the drive
shaft.”
