Sunday, October 12, 2003 - A man goes into a bar and sits at a table next to a table where a woman is sitting alone. After five minutes or so, she yells, at the top of her lungs, “NO! I won’t sleep with you!” Everyone in the bar goes quiet and stares. The man, hopelessly and completely embarrassed, slinks to another table. After a few minutes, the woman walks over to him and apologizes. She smiles at him and says, “I’m sorry if I embarrassed you. You see, I’m a graduate student in psychology, and I’m studying how people respond to embarrassing situations.” He replies, at the top of his lungs, “What do you mean $300?!”

Monday, October 13, 2003 - Most people trash their spam. I recycle it to you. In which hand is the Statue of Liberty’s torch? On the United States flag, is the top stripe red or white? From outer space, which direction do hurricanes spin, clockwise or counterclockwise? Which side of a women’s blouse are the buttons on? Which way do fans rotate? Do books have even-numbered pages on the right or left side? How many lug nuts are on a standard car wheel? How many sides are there on a standard pencil? Sleepy, Happy, Sneezy, Grumpy, Dopey, Doc. Who’s missing? How many hot dog buns are in a standard package? How many curves are there in the standard paper clip? Does a merry-go-round turn to the right or left?  Answers.

Tuesday, October 14, 2003 - Cecil Adams of The Straight Dope explains “There is such a thing as the Coriolis effect. It explains why hurricanes rotate in a clockwise direction in the Southern Hemisphere and counterclockwise in the Northern Hemisphere. However, when you get down to itty-bitty phenomena such as the water draining out of your bathtub, the Coriolis effect is insignificant, amounting to roughly three ten-millionths of the force of gravity. The boring truth is that water drains every which way no matter what hemisphere you’re in, for reasons which have to do mostly with the shape of the drain, the way you poured in the water in the first place, and so on.” Next mystery: why do you never see any baby pigeons?

Wednesday,October 15, 2003 - The counterfeit Steven Wright ponders, “If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?”“What do you call male ballerinas?”“If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all those Acme contraptions, why didn’t he just go out and buy dinner?”The genuine Steven Wright reflects, “When I was growing up, my parents had a quicksandbox. I was an only child. Eventually.”“Ever notice how irons have a setting for ‘permanent’ press? I don’t get it.”“If you saw a heat wave, would you wave back?”Today I dialed a wrong number. The person said, “Hello?” and I said, “Hello, could I speak to Joey?” He said, “Uh, I don’t think so. He’s only 2 months old.” I said, “I’ll wait.”
Thursday, October 16, 2003 - Louisiana wildlife biologists are concerned over an invasive alien fish known to leap from the water and endanger boaters. Silver carp, one of three types of Asian carp now suspected of spreading through the state’s 64 million acres of fresh waterway, can grow to 60 pounds and jump as high as 8 feet. “They leap from the water toward noise, lights or vibrations. They don’t jump until a boat comes by,” said Mark McElroy, a state biologist. “Nobody wants to be heading down the river at 40 miles an hour and have a 25-pound fish hit you in the head.” Collisions with flying carp have resulted in a few broken noses and knocking boaters unconscious, threatening to increase high-speed motorboat accidents.

Friday, October 17, 2003 - Who decides these things? From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia, a retronym is a phrase used to describe something whose original name has evolved through advances in technology. For example, a black-and-white television was once simply called a television. The retronym distinguishes it from a color television which now holds the honor of being just a television. Pocket watch is another retronym. Before the advent of the wristwatch, the word watch referred to watches carried in the pocket. After the advent of the wristwatch, the word watch referred to a watch worn on the wrist. Similarly, after the advent of the digital watch, watches with faces and hands became known as analog watches.

Saturday, October 18, 2003 - She buckled her seatbelt just as the bridge buckled. He bolted into the basement and bolted down the hatch. It was her custom to design custom designs. He clipped the papers together and clipped off the corners. The bound beauty bounded no longer. After dusting for fingerprints, he dusted the coffee table. As fast as she could, she glued her tennis shoes fast to the floor. The ice cream vendor gave out free samples until his engine gave out. Superman held up the overpass and held up traffic while Lex Luthor held up the Treasury. She left through the left tunnel and right then turned right. Standing atop the overlook, he overlooked the caution sign. The cool temperature tempered her temper.