Sunday, November 2, 2003 - The Girl
Scouts of the USA are committed to helping
today’s girls become tomorrow’s
leaders. Deserving special recognition are
the Girl Scouts of Troop 344 who are making
money, but they’re not selling their
cookies door-to-door. They can’t,
because these Girl Scouts are behind bars.
The members of Troop 344 are all incarcerated
at the Southern Oaks Girls School. While
the name may sound innocent enough, the
facility is Wisconsin’s maximum security
lockup for juvenile girls. This year, the
troop sold more than $2,300 worth of cookies.
The troop is allowed to sell their Girl
Scout cookies to inmates in 12 other state
facilities. Officials say without the cookie
sales, the troop could not survive.
Monday, November
3, 2003 - Car number plates ending
in 4 have been banned in Beijing because
they are said to be unlucky. The move
has been taken because the word “four”
sounds like the word for “dead”
in Mandarin. “No vehicle registration
numbers ending in 4 will be issued in
the Chinese city from now on,” says
the South China Morning Post quoting the
Beijing Times. “Although Beijing
is the first Chinese city to introduce
such a measure, buildings throughout China
do not have any floors ending in four,
so they have no 4th, 14th, or 24th floors.”
I wonder if they have 13th floors? Is
bad luck territorial? Babe Ruth admits
“I have only one superstition. I
touch all the bases when I hit a home
run.”
Tuesday, November
4, 2003 - A Dutchman who lost both
legs in separate accidents says the health
service has given him two false right
legs. Jelle Wagt says he will not stand
up until he gets a prosthetic left leg
because he would look ridiculous. He lost
his right leg after he fell into the hold
of a ship in 1998, then lost his left
leg in another accident three years later.
Mr. Wagt says the Dutch health service
originally gave him a prosthetic right
leg which was too long for him. They corrected
that mistake but sent him home with another
right leg after his left leg was amputated.
“I was stunned to find a right foot
on my left leg. I’d love to try
to walk again but with two right feet
it just doesn’t feel comfortable.”
Wednesday, November
5, 2003 - Look, a flock of birds!
Is it a flight of swallows or a party of
jays? A gaggle of geese or a murder of crows?
A watch of nightingales or a congregation
of plovers? A cast of hawks or a convocation
of eagles? A charm of finches or a mutation
of thrushes? For 22 years, James Lipton
has been researching these collective nouns
and their origins in his book, An
Exaltation of Larks. According to him,
most of these nouns evolved in the Middle
Ages when the sophisticated art of hunting
demanded an equally sophisticated vocabulary.
Or he is simply pulling our collective legs?
I mean, really. A shrewdness of apes? A
business of ferrets? A route of wolves?
A peep of chickens? A smack of jellyfish?
Thursday, November
6, 2003 - Hollywood couldn’t
care less about me and my demographic. So
I girded my loins and interrupted a crowd
of teenagers after seeing The
Matrix Revolutions. I asked, “Thumb’s
up, thumb’s down, or thumb’s
sideways?” I expected a melancholy
“thumbs sideways” but heard
a resounding “thumb’s down!”
In my opinion, Matrix II & III suffered
from introducing too many new characters,
building these new characters out of stiff
cardboard, and downplaying and flattening
any character left in Neo, Trinity, and
Morpheus. The magic of the first Matrix
had us believing Keanu Reeves could actually
act. Now, Hugo Weaving as Agent Smith remains
the only character with any vestige of personality.
Sigh.
Friday, November 7,
2003 - Everyone in Hollywood, except
for audiences, decided this winter ought
to have more Epic Period Films since Martin
Scorsese’s Gangs
of New York flopped so well. Tom “I
was Lestat, really” Cruise is The
Last Samurai. Huh? I thought they did
Shogun
already. Russell “Virtuosity”
Crowe is Master
and Commander in a White
Squall of a flick. Billy Bob “Sling
Blade” Thorton is Davy Crockett
in The
Alamo, a film destined to suffer the
same fate as its subject matter. And Brad
Pitt in (Helen of) Troy
completes the foursome, causing me to ponder
if these four movie previews were actually
part of a Saturday
Night Live skit. I’m only interested
in one period film, The
Return of the King, my preciousss.
Saturday, November
8, 2003 - In an apartment in Ridgefield,
Washington, Toni Lynn Lycan, 44, lost her
temper when the man living below cranked
up the volume of his stereo. She screamed
at Allen Haines, 27, to turn it down, but
he, in turn, grabbed a broom and banged
on his ceiling which was her floor. Infuriated,
Lycan stomped on the floor and then jumped
up in the air and slammed both feet hard
enough to break both legs about four inches
below the kneecap. There’s a lesson
here. Al Franken reflects “Mistakes
are a part of being human. Appreciate your
mistakes for what they are: precious life
lessons that can only be learned the hard
way. Unless it’s a fatal mistake,
which, at least, others can learn from them.”