Sunday, November 2, 2003 - The Girl Scouts of the USA are committed to helping today’s girls become tomorrow’s leaders. Deserving special recognition are the Girl Scouts of Troop 344 who are making money, but they’re not selling their cookies door-to-door. They can’t, because these Girl Scouts are behind bars. The members of Troop 344 are all incarcerated at the Southern Oaks Girls School. While the name may sound innocent enough, the facility is Wisconsin’s maximum security lockup for juvenile girls. This year, the troop sold more than $2,300 worth of cookies. The troop is allowed to sell their Girl Scout cookies to inmates in 12 other state facilities. Officials say without the cookie sales, the troop could not survive.

Monday, November 3, 2003 - Car number plates ending in 4 have been banned in Beijing because they are said to be unlucky. The move has been taken because the word “four” sounds like the word for “dead” in Mandarin. “No vehicle registration numbers ending in 4 will be issued in the Chinese city from now on,” says the South China Morning Post quoting the Beijing Times. “Although Beijing is the first Chinese city to introduce such a measure, buildings throughout China do not have any floors ending in four, so they have no 4th, 14th, or 24th floors.” I wonder if they have 13th floors? Is bad luck territorial? Babe Ruth admits “I have only one superstition. I touch all the bases when I hit a home run.”

Tuesday, November 4, 2003 - A Dutchman who lost both legs in separate accidents says the health service has given him two false right legs. Jelle Wagt says he will not stand up until he gets a prosthetic left leg because he would look ridiculous. He lost his right leg after he fell into the hold of a ship in 1998, then lost his left leg in another accident three years later. Mr. Wagt says the Dutch health service originally gave him a prosthetic right leg which was too long for him. They corrected that mistake but sent him home with another right leg after his left leg was amputated. “I was stunned to find a right foot on my left leg. I’d love to try to walk again but with two right feet it just doesn’t feel comfortable.”

Wednesday, November 5, 2003 - Look, a flock of birds! Is it a flight of swallows or a party of jays? A gaggle of geese or a murder of crows? A watch of nightingales or a congregation of plovers? A cast of hawks or a convocation of eagles? A charm of finches or a mutation of thrushes? For 22 years, James Lipton has been researching these collective nouns and their origins in his book, An Exaltation of Larks. According to him, most of these nouns evolved in the Middle Ages when the sophisticated art of hunting demanded an equally sophisticated vocabulary. Or he is simply pulling our collective legs? I mean, really. A shrewdness of apes? A business of ferrets? A route of wolves? A peep of chickens? A smack of jellyfish?
Thursday, November 6, 2003 - Hollywood couldn’t care less about me and my demographic. So I girded my loins and interrupted a crowd of teenagers after seeing The Matrix Revolutions. I asked, “Thumb’s up, thumb’s down, or thumb’s sideways?” I expected a melancholy “thumbs sideways” but heard a resounding “thumb’s down!” In my opinion, Matrix II & III suffered from introducing too many new characters, building these new characters out of stiff cardboard, and downplaying and flattening any character left in Neo, Trinity, and Morpheus. The magic of the first Matrix had us believing Keanu Reeves could actually act. Now, Hugo Weaving as Agent Smith remains the only character with any vestige of personality. Sigh.
Friday, November 7, 2003 - Everyone in Hollywood, except for audiences, decided this winter ought to have more Epic Period Films since Martin Scorsese’s Gangs of New York flopped so well. Tom “I was Lestat, really” Cruise is The Last Samurai. Huh? I thought they did Shogun already. Russell “Virtuosity” Crowe is Master and Commander in a White Squall of a flick. Billy Bob “Sling Blade” Thorton is Davy Crockett in The Alamo, a film destined to suffer the same fate as its subject matter. And Brad Pitt in (Helen of) Troy completes the foursome, causing me to ponder if these four movie previews were actually part of a Saturday Night Live skit. I’m only interested in one period film, The Return of the King, my preciousss.
Saturday, November 8, 2003 - In an apartment in Ridgefield, Washington, Toni Lynn Lycan, 44, lost her temper when the man living below cranked up the volume of his stereo. She screamed at Allen Haines, 27, to turn it down, but he, in turn, grabbed a broom and banged on his ceiling which was her floor. Infuriated, Lycan stomped on the floor and then jumped up in the air and slammed both feet hard enough to break both legs about four inches below the kneecap. There’s a lesson here. Al Franken reflects “Mistakes are a part of being human. Appreciate your mistakes for what they are: precious life lessons that can only be learned the hard way. Unless it’s a fatal mistake, which, at least, others can learn from them.”