Sunday, November 16, 2003 - Sniglets, coined by Rich Hall, are words that don’t appear in the dictionary, but should. Aeroma is the odor emanating from an exercise room after an aerobics workout. Backspackle is the accumulation of mud on the back of your shirt from riding a fenderless bicycle. Cabnicreep is the structural condition in which the closing of one kitchen cabinet causes another to open. Detruncus is the embarrassing phenomenon of losing your bathing shorts while diving into a swimming pool. Elbonics are the actions of two people maneuvering for one armrest in a movie theater. Facon is the imitation bacon bits served at cheap salad bars. Giraffiti is vandalism spray-painted very, very high.
Monday, November 17, 2003 - Municipal officials dropped thousands of fake dog poops on the sidewalks in the French city of Lyon in an attempt to persuade people to obey the pooper-scooper law. These bright-red plastic counterfeits have printed messages, reminding pet owners that violators face fines of $650 for letting their dogs soil the sidewalks. So far, the effort to persuade the French to clean up after their dogs is an abysmal failure. Despite new laws, the sidewalks of France’s major cities remain pungent minefields of canine excrement. Lyon, France’s third-largest city, spends about $7,800,000 annually to clean up after the pets. If the campaign doesn’t work, the city is considering stiffening fines to more than $1,000.

Tuesday, November 18, 2003 - Reality TV in half-hour dozes. That’s my MTV. I’ve viewed Real World and Road Rules for too long to admit. This season, I peeked at Sorority Life and Fraternity Life; both document the trials and tributions of being a lowly pledge in the Greek tradition, both focus on the loners and whiners who resent authority. Evidently, they’d presumed Animal House was a recruitment documentary and were ill prepared to tolerate sisterly and brotherly fascism. The Newlyweds follows the first year of marriage for Goofy and Grumpy. Why, I’m uncertain. Rich Girls is two chain-smoking teen millionairesses who confess “We’re just as screwed up as you, but we have the cash to make-believe we are not.”
Wednesday, November 19, 2003 - A dog thinks “Hey, these people I live with feed me, love me, provide me with a nice warm, dry house, pet me, and take good care of me. They must be gods!” A cat thinks “Hey, these people I live with feed me, love me, provide me with a nice warm, dry house, pet me, and take good care of me. I must be a god!” Joseph Krutch observes “Cats seem to go on the principle that it never does any harm to ask for what you want.” P. J. O’Rourke states “Politicians are interested in people. Not that this is a virtue. Fleas are interested in dogs.” Winston Churchill notes “A dog will look up at you; a cat will look down at you; however, a pig will see you eye-to-eye and know it has found an equal.”
Thursday, November 20, 2003 - Let’s see. There’s a Boothill Cemetery in Custer County, Idaho; a Boothill Cemetery in Billings, Montana; a Boothill Cemetery in Oldham County, Texas; a Boothill Cemetery in Pioche, Nevada; a Boothill Cemetery in Dodge City, Kansas. But who gets all the glory? Boothill Cemetary in Tombstone, Arizona, “the town too tough to die,” where Wyatt, Morgan, and Virgil Earp and Doc Holliday shot it out with the Clantons and McLaurys at the OK Corral on October 26, 1881. Like a phoenix rising over Boothill Cemetary, the sun shines brightest on the epitaph “Here lies Lester Moore. Four slugs from a forty-four. No Les No More.” Another day, another hanging, another conspiracy dies with its boots on.

Friday, November 21, 2003 - A vulture boards an airplane, carrying two dead raccoons. The stewardess says, “I’m sorry, Sir. Only one carrion per passenger.”A three-legged dog walks into a saloon in the Old West. He slides up to the bar and announces, “I’m looking for the man who shot my paw.”Two Eskimos, sitting in a kayak, were so cold they lit a fire, and the craft sank. I guess you can’t have your kayak and heat it, too.The winners of a chess tournament check into their hotel and crowd around the lobby, bragging about the afternoon’s victory. The manager storms out of his office and tells them to leave immediately. “But why?” they ask. “Because,” he said, “I can’t stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer.”

Saturday, November 22, 2003 - Yesterday was Double Feature Day. Gothika, a ghost story with few ghosts and fewer chills, offers the Halle Berry school of acting typified in Swordfish, X-Men, and Die Another Day, causing this reviewer to wonder if he dreamt he once attended a Monster’s Ball. The stunning impact of Tupac: Resurrection is the posthumous wall-to-wall narration by the man himself, cut together from numerous interviews. We see his public image being commented upon by his private image with a rigorous self-awareness both unexpected and refreshing. If I found it difficult to reconcile his sweet smile and natural charm with the bitterness and rancor his work incited, I do believe that was the film’s message.