|  s
night falls and the evening bores on,
conversation grows awkward.
  ay,
AWAY with DOGMA,”
the King shouts to the Queen, his fist
shattering the wine glass. “Bring
me a NAPKIN!
Goblets this DAINTY
belong to those FEEBLE
with AGE.”
 he
ODDS are, you
are ABOUT to
STEP into trouble,”
the Knight cautions the King, referring
to the puddle of burgundy at his feet.
“WHEN
you ARRIVE on
the floor, I’ll be CAREFUL
to be over here by the fruit bowl.”
 ay
ATTENTION, brethren,”
the Page admonishes the Knight. “HARSHNESS
and ABUSE abound.
That APRICOT
you hold might be poisoned.”
 t
is TOO rare a
COMMODITY in
these LANDS,”
the Knight corrects the Page, “Besides
HE knows CITRUS
FRUIT is a poor
vessel for venom.”
 uch
COCKEYED NONSENSE!,”
the Page grunts to the Knight, “It
is CLEARLY a
vegetable of which they PROFESS.”
 hen
our WAGONS of
produce are RUINED!”
the Queen clamors to the Page. “If
none are USEABLE,
then HERE I will
relieve the CULPRIT
of his head.”
 ower
your SWORD!”
the King enjoins, peering at one Queen
and then the other, “Your FLORA
is SCARLET, I
note. How many BOUGHS
have you BROUGHT?”
 ne,
EXACTLY,”
the Queen replies. “DO
you chase after your BORZOI?”
She said to the Page. “Why are you
HUNTING WOLVES
BY the sea?”
PURSUE NO
MAMMALS,”
the Page huffs and puffs. “Nothing
with a NIPPLE
ENTERS my CAP.”
he
SCANDAL? PLEASE,
no comment,” the Knight insists
to the King. “The BENEFIT,
NOW, is moot.
Let my BROTHER
chase his carp.”
he
WAGERER MET
his match,” the King boasts, blocked
by two Knights. “The THIEF
ACHES, TOO,
we PROMISE.”
stand BETWEEN
Kings,” the Knight murmurs. “I
pledge no ALLEGIANCE
to these CROWNS
and I feast on their VISCERA.”
 ou
are BLASPHEMERS,
one and all, you and your EXTRAVAGANCE,”
the King curses at the Queen. “I
defy LAX MAGI.”
ou
BITE your tongue
and WORSHIP the
C!” The
Queen scowls back at the King. “For
EACH is UNPRINCIPLED,
SO.”
he
WORSE ITCH
is in the ARM,”
the Page informs the Queen. “PAINFUL,
it is, and no UNKNOWN
BALM exists.”
ou
EXIST as proof
of INERTIA,”
the Queen sneers to the Page. “Now
OFF you go. And
for you, HANDSOME
King, a rare VINTAGE.”
s
the hours ebb toward midnight, neither
the Fool nor the treasures have made an
appearance. The clock chimes twelve. The
clouds part to reveal eight sparkling
stars and the largest of them delivers
this message to the startled Royalty.
he
Sun is a trickster — you have all
been played for fools!” proclaims
the largest star. “Your treasures
shall not be returned this evening, for
your enemies are many. Listen well and
beware.”
ith
map assembled and words aligned, proceed
clockwise, from midnight, amidst those
who are outside and heed only the advice
of those who would steal.”
What is this advice?
To solve this errand,
print out the story
and the map pieces.
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