The Fool's Gold #21 - February 2009

Issue
Twenty-One

February
2009

Time flies like an arrow.

the officious newsletter of author Cliff Johnson

Fruit flies like a banana.

     >Take One<
     She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still.
     The butcher backed into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work.
     No matter how much you push the envelope, it’ll still be stationery.
     A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.
     A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.
     I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.
     Two hats hung on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other, “You stay here. I’ll go on a head.”
     >Take Two<
     There was an old man in the moon,
     Whose limericks finished too soon.
     >Take Three<
     In Utah, birds have the right of way on any public highway.
     In New York, it is against the law for a blind person to drive an automobile.
     In Tennessee, it is against the law to drive a car while sleeping.
     In Washington State, you can’t carry a concealed weapon that is over 6 feet in length.
     >Take Four<
     Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day.
     Teach him how to use the Internet and he won’t bother you for weeks.
     >Take Five<
     I doubt, therefore I might be.
     No one is watching until you make a mistake.
     Advice is free, but the right answer will cost you plenty.
     For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism.
     Never put off until tomorrow what you can avoid doing altogether.
     The right to be heard does not include the right to be taken seriously.
     The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.
     The sole purpose of a child’s middle name is so he can tell when he’s really in trouble.
     >Take Six<
     If receiving this newsletter is as welcome as the gift of mouthwash, deodorant, and dandruff shampoo on Valentine’s Day, click here to cancel. On the other hand, if you wish to subscribe, click here.
     >Take Seven<
     “Do not condemn the judgment of another because it differs from your own. You may both be wrong.”
     >Cut<
     >Print<

     Once it was the Sun and the Magician who counseled the Fool. Now it is the Moon and the Hermit. In the Kingdom of the Cups, the Fool learns that the Hermit has taken refuge among the Prophets of Elixir and he takes an unsettling interest in the whereabouts of the High Priestess card that the Fool has hidden and hidden well.
     Here’s some news. You can now download the Official Teaser of The Fool and his Money containing The Prologue and Five Bewitchments, available for both Windows and Macintosh.
     Some comments from the True Believers:
     “Congratulations on releasing a teaser! It looks awesome.”
     “I just stayed up until 2:40 AM playing the TFaHM teaser. I'm in trouble when the full game comes out. Big whopping crazy-huge congratulations for making it to this stage.”
     “Great job on the teaser. It looks FANTASTIC. I have absolutely no doubt that the final game will be on or above par with TFE. Also, I'm confident that you're about to make lots of enemies all over again.”
     “Very nice teaser! I really like the visual aesthetic, which is like your website. :) It looks like the game is really long -- a good thing! The puzzles are very Foolish, but with better graphics, which feels excitingly nostalgic and modern at the same time.”
     “Thank you sooo much for the preview you posted on your home page. I've played your Fool's Errand so many times, I wore out the Amiga version. Then I wore out the PC version. Then I finally found your home page and downloaded it from there and played it over and over again. Can't help myself. You are a beautiful person with a beautiful imagination and an unusual gift for the enigmas of the English language!”
     And Rock, Paper, Shotgun wrote this article. An excerpt, “Any thinking that Cliff Johnson may have spent the intervening twenty years since The Fool’s Errand first appeared brushing up on 3D technology and PhysX water simulation should put their delusions aside. This is really low tech.”
     I had to grin. Low tech by design, my friends, and fiercely proud of it, too.
     Incidentally, there’s still time to pre-order and have your name immortalized in the Compendium of True Believers inside the game.
     (Last issue spelled CARIBOU, LADYBUG, HALIBUT revealing HOG.)

Egads, I’ve been working on this production for six years, and to state the obvious, my deadlines have proven to be, on the whole, unrealistic. At present, I am forecasting that the game will be completed and beta-tested for all versions (Windows XP, Vista - Mac OS.4, Intel) in plenty of time for the New England Christmas.
I trust that you will enjoy the Teaser and that it will tide you over until the release of the game. To those who have pre-ordered over the years, my sincerest thanks and gratitude for your patience and support and witty e-mails.

Computing Jolt

2003 — JAN - FEB - MAR - APR - MAY - JUN - JUL - AUG - DEC — 2004 — MAR - AUG - NOV — 2005 — APR - NOV - DEC

2006 — MAR - JUN - OCT — 2007 — DEC — 2008 — APR — 2009 — FEB